Michelle Blanchard Ardillo

As a practicing Catholic, each year I spend a few weeks before Lent to think about what I want to do during this season of preparation. Some Catholics give up something they love as a sacrifice, some add some sort of charity work or almsgiving during Lent, and some fast and pray more. When I was young, my brothers and I were encouraged to give up chocolate or other sweets we loved. My dad always gave up cigarettes, which was a penance for the whole family as his mood worsened as the days of Lent dragged on. On Easter Sunday, while my brothers and I were eating every bit of chocolate and candy in our Easter baskets, my dad was smoking a whole pack of cigarettes before we went to morning Mass. (PSA: He quit for good on June 20, 1995, the day my mom received a kidney transplant, his follow-through on a promise he had made to her kidney doctor.)

For the last few years, I’ve done a combination of things. I’ve focused on my prayer life more, especially after teaching religion to grades 5-8 one year. Teaching the Catholic faith to almost 100 middle schoolers daily naturally focused me more on my religious practices. It also brought a different dimension to my views on Christianity. Our student body is very diverse and includes many non-Roman Catholic Christians. So, it was only natural that during Lent that school year, as we discussed in class how we would prepare for the Passion of Christ, I made prayer at certain times of the day a routine for myself. 

In addition to enriching my prayer life, I gave up Facebook for Lent last year and again this year. Now, that might seem trivial to you considering I am in my late 60’s and have many other interests that are more important to me than scrolling on my phone, such as reading, cooking, and taking care of my family. But, in 2005 when Hurricane Katrina destroyed my hometown and forced the relocation of many of my family members and childhood friends, Facebook became a way to keep in touch with the people I grew up with and were important to me in my life. I know I’ve missed birthdays and other life events for some of those people. I’ll catch up after Easter Sunday, and reply to all my notifications.

In recent years, I have become active in two neighborhood Facebook groups, one being just a community group, and the other being a part of the Buy Nothing movement. The Buy Nothing movement began in Seattle, Washington, where two moms started a Facebook group with other moms in their neighborhood to avoid sending so many still-useful items to the landfill. You simply post in “The Group,” as many of us refer to it, that you have an item you would like to gift. People respond if they are interested in receiving the gift. This could be a toaster, a book, a bunch of bananas overripe and ready for banana bread, or a bagful of baby clothes. The gift-giver chooses a recipient, and arrangements are made for a porch pickup. It is brilliant, and dare I say, addictive. I’ve cleared out a storage unit and two rooms of my house, while also receiving a waffle iron that makes waffles in the shape of a fleur-de-lis (the symbol for my husband’s beloved New Orleans Saints), a lamp that has a hand-carved wood elephant as the base, a bedside table for our guest room, and so much more. As a result of the interactions with my neighbors in The Group, I’ve made many friends in my community that I may never have met were it not for Buy Nothing. Giving up Facebook for Lent means I’m cut off from that group of neighbors, and who knows what awesome things I’ve missed out on!!!

Last year for Valentine’s Day, my husband of almost 35 years asked me what I wanted to mark the day. I was ready for this question. No roses, no chocolates, no big dinner out. I wanted to subscribe to a Patreon account for a podcast I listen to called Currently Reading, and subscribing to the Patreon account entitles me to membership in a private Facebook Group called “Bookish Friends.” I’ve already mentioned that I am a reader, and I don’t have many close friends who are also readers or at least one who is interested in the same kinds of books as me.  The Bookish Friends Facebook Group fills that void. I no longer have to subject my husband and daughters (all great readers but we don’t share the same reading interests) to what I’m reading, why I loved it, why I hated it, etc., which my older daughter calls “Non-Consensual Book Club” discussions. Now, I can log on to Facebook and interact with the Bookish Friends who are already chatting about the same book. I really really miss those online book discussions. So, giving up Facebook for Lent is a three-pronged sacrifice for me. 

Many people, especially the older generation, may feel that social media is all bad, and yes, there are a lot of negative effects of #socialmedia; I will admit that. But there is also a + side to #socialmedia, not just me and my Facebook groups, that I am missing out on this Lent. My older daughter just shared a story with me that highlights one of the ways that #socialmedia can be viewed positively. My daughter loves K-pop and is in several online groups with many followers. She recently saw a post about someone in Korea walking down to a beach area and taking a photo of a little stuffed animal modeled after her KPop idol. As she took the photo, a giant crow swooped down and snatched the tiny stuffed animal out of her hands. Because it was a “live photo,” she could post the actual thievery in action. She named the location in the post and told the story of the crow stealing her precious little stuffed animal. Someone immediately said, “I was just there and saw it. I hung it on the railing of the boardwalk.” She had already left the area, but unable to let it go, returned to the beach area, and sure enough, there it was, laying on the ground, bedraggled and sad-looking, but she scooped it up, took it home, and washed it. This is not something severe or significant like finding a bone marrow transplant or even tracking down a missing pet, but sometimes, the small kindnesses in life can bring joy and a sense of community in a very special way.

Reflecting on this Lenten season, as we begin Holy Week this Thursday, maybe it’s not the vast sacrifices that make our Lent more fruitful. Maybe the tiny things we add to our lives, like more prayer, can bring us closer to Christ. Maybe it’s not fasting and giving up our favorite foods. Maybe it’s spending less on the weekly grocery list and instead donating some groceries to a food pantry. Maybe it’s being more open to practicing small acts of kindness to others. Maybe it’s offering a prayer for those in need whom we can’t help. And, maybe #socialmedia can bring people together.